incredible read. been thinking about this for a while and couldn’t really put it into words but you encapsulated everything that’s wrong with the ‘pick-me’ label perfectly. punchy and well written too. i also constantly joke about being drop dead gorgeous and it often doesn’t land. but like i am?
i really, really enjoyed your exploration of this issue bcz like other commenters have said i have had these same thoughts! like you said, we need to extend far more grace to the people experiencing oppression for having imperfect expressions of what that looks like! it's like we are so aware of all the feminist theory now, we are aware that women perform even when alone (like expressed in that margaret atwood quote) yet we expect those same women to pretend like it does not exist for the sake of not looking like a pick me? it is deeply unfair to already be experiencing patriarchal oppression, (amongst other forms of oppression if you hold other marginalised identities) & then expect to come out unscathed. this very harsh coming down on pick mes and desire to eradicate them from society is misogynistic and self serving to be honest. as feminist as i am today and am yet to become, i will always hold in the back of my mind that i am no better or any more special than the next woman. you have to want solidarity more than you want to be correct or come across as a 'good feminist'. and it's funny how the idea of being a good feminist is to pretend patriarchy doesn't impact you lol. & lastly, yes! we don't have to be girls girls. idk why that is such a big thing now! it's like the difference between niceness and kindness. being a feminist is kind whilst girls girl is nice.
Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed! I love that you said "as feminist as i am today and am yet to become, i will always hold in the back of my mind that i am no better or any more special than the next woman," I think that's a great point --- patriarchy/capitalism/any oppressive force WANTS us to exist in a hierarchy and disrupting that disrupts the system
Honestly this is one of my favourite pieces. The way you so succinctly (and so intelligently as always) explain such a nuanced phenomena yet also add just the right amount of humour? I’m actually going to have to re-read this. I can’t even write a good enough comment to explain how much I loved this
incredible read. been thinking about this for a while and couldn’t really put it into words but you encapsulated everything that’s wrong with the ‘pick-me’ label perfectly. punchy and well written too. i also constantly joke about being drop dead gorgeous and it often doesn’t land. but like i am?
Thank you!!
i really, really enjoyed your exploration of this issue bcz like other commenters have said i have had these same thoughts! like you said, we need to extend far more grace to the people experiencing oppression for having imperfect expressions of what that looks like! it's like we are so aware of all the feminist theory now, we are aware that women perform even when alone (like expressed in that margaret atwood quote) yet we expect those same women to pretend like it does not exist for the sake of not looking like a pick me? it is deeply unfair to already be experiencing patriarchal oppression, (amongst other forms of oppression if you hold other marginalised identities) & then expect to come out unscathed. this very harsh coming down on pick mes and desire to eradicate them from society is misogynistic and self serving to be honest. as feminist as i am today and am yet to become, i will always hold in the back of my mind that i am no better or any more special than the next woman. you have to want solidarity more than you want to be correct or come across as a 'good feminist'. and it's funny how the idea of being a good feminist is to pretend patriarchy doesn't impact you lol. & lastly, yes! we don't have to be girls girls. idk why that is such a big thing now! it's like the difference between niceness and kindness. being a feminist is kind whilst girls girl is nice.
Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed! I love that you said "as feminist as i am today and am yet to become, i will always hold in the back of my mind that i am no better or any more special than the next woman," I think that's a great point --- patriarchy/capitalism/any oppressive force WANTS us to exist in a hierarchy and disrupting that disrupts the system
Honestly this is one of my favourite pieces. The way you so succinctly (and so intelligently as always) explain such a nuanced phenomena yet also add just the right amount of humour? I’m actually going to have to re-read this. I can’t even write a good enough comment to explain how much I loved this
Thanks so much!!!