Developed and Developing: Personal Style

Questioning convention through fashion

You know the corset? The Amazon corset that had everyone in a chokehold circa 2021-2022? Yeah, that one. I have one gathering dust in my closet. I wore it two, maybe three times. I bought it in 2021 thinking it would become a closet staple. I thought I would channel Marie Antoinette in my $19.99 “corset”. I thought this singular purchase would catapult me to the Pinterest status I desperately sought. Spoiler alert, all of those thoughts were wrong. I don’t want to channel Marie Antoinette. I want to channel myself. I don’t want to be catapulted to Pinterest status. I want to be catapulted into the forever journey of personal style.

Developing my personal style has disrupted the way I consume media. And that is amazing. I no longer want to emulate the aesthetic of a stranger on Pinterest or Instagram. I am free from that burden. Yes, a burden. At least, it was a burden for me. I looked to Pinterest and Instagram for direction. Direction on how to dress, when to dress, and why to dress. I was busy following the rules of a faceless person, a person who was many persons, a person(s) who did not know me, who did not understand me. And how could they? I did not know nor understand them, so why did I expect the same from the many faces and bodies I saw while scrolling through social media?

I didn’t one day sit down and declare I would develop my personal style. It was a gradual decision, a decision I made (and am still making) because I was sick of being told what to wear. And the thing that bothered me the most, there was no why. Why did I want to wear this color? Why on this day? These questions were important to me. While the people on my Pinterest feed may have had a “why” for what they were wearing, their “why” would not be the same as mine. I needed a reason to follow trends beyond “it’s trendy”.

So, I bought more clothes. Instead of answering the "whys" I bought more clothes. I still have some of these clothes, but most of them have been “given away”, meaning they have a good chance of being in a landfill right now. I bought clothes because they were cute – no further thought was put into them. I didn’t think it required any more thought. Clothes are supposed to be cute, right?

Clothing requires more thought. Clothing requires more thought because we live in the world we do. In this day and age, it’s not enough to buy something because it’s cute. Even if it’s secondhand. Yes, it can be cute. It should be cute. But it should have a lifespan, a lifespan that extends beyond one wear. It should fit into your closet, whether that be the closet you have now or the closet you’re building. It should inspire you and have more meaning and purpose.

For me, developing my personal style has meant freedom. Freedom from the trends that dictated how, when, and why I shopped, freedom from my debilitating lack of confidence, and freedom to dress the way I want. I don’t think personal style is as “simple” as expressing yourself. I think it takes in philosophies, sensibilities, beliefs, I think it takes in every part of what makes up a person. And yes, I believe that can be achieved through clothing. That’s the power of clothing, that’s the power of design and art.

Comme des Garçons Spring/Summer 1997 by Rei Kawakubo

“It is our job to question convention. If we don’t take risks, then who will?” (Rei Kawakubo when discussing this collection with Vogue).

As enjoyers and consumers of art, design, and fashion, and as people, it is in fact our job to question convention. Whether that be through the way we dress ourselves or the way we think, questioning convention is what moves society forward. I dress both conventionally and unconventionally, and both are important, aesthetically speaking. All forms of dressing are important. If someone chooses to follow micro-trends or they choose to dress outside of the fashion zeitgeist, either way, it is their job to question convention. “Why do I feel the need to buy this trend that will be out of style in a few weeks?” “Why do I want to stand out with the way I dress?” “Why do I want to fit in with the way I dress” Questions need to be asked.

Fashion is not surface-level. Fashion is not just pink pretty dresses (heavy misogynistic undertones here). Fashion dictates the way we shop, and the way we consume, and it dictates the way people live their lives. Developing personal style truly transformed my life. Personal style can mean following trends, but one needs a reason to follow trends beyond “it’s cute and it’s in style.” We have a responsibility to question convention and to examine the way we dress and why.

So, here’s how I discovered (and am discovering) my personal style. Disclaimer: These “rules” worked for me, but I wholly encourage whoever is reading this to use this as guide, and edit to your own values and priorities. 

1. Ask yourself the question, why am I even doing this? What is driving me? Am I doing this to please someone or something else, or am I doing this for my own good? Answering this question for yourself is vitally important. And this answer can (and probably will) change and develop over time.

2. What am I consuming? What movies am I watching, what books am I reading, what music am I listening to, what kind of conversations am I having? How is this influencing my fashion choices? What we consume affects who we are. Looking to these things helps us to determine who we are on the inside and how we in turn want to present on the outside.

3. (In conjunction with #2). What do I enjoy? And why do I enjoy it? How can I translate that into clothing, accessories, hair, and makeup? Why do I want to translate it?

4. Is your daily attire fulfilling both your sense of personal style and making the impression you wish to have on others? These two cannot always exist in tandem, and I don’t think that’s necessarily bad. Your personal style cannot always be at the forefront of your dressing. If you work outside, you may not want to be wearing your stilettos. If you work in an office, you may not want to be wearing your muddy boots. (The Western idea of “professionalism” when it comes to dressing and how we present ourselves is important to investigate). Recognizing that it’s okay to adjust your personal style day to day due to your everyday life is necessary for developing your true style.

5. What brands do I find myself frequenting? For example, I frequent designer brands, even though I cannot afford them (firsthand). But, I still have something to gain from admiring their work even though I cannot physically obtain it. I can learn about their ideas, histories, philosophies, sensibilities and so much more through their work. (I use voguerunway.com to view designer’s work.) Why do I find myself attracted to this designer’s work? How can I emulate their philosophies into my own style? And if I don’t want to emulate their philosophies, what can I learn from them?

6. How can I do this (develop personal style) ethically? Why do I want to do this ethically? (Hopefully, you know the answer to this).

7. Do I want to do this in one month, or do I want to take this journey for the rest of my life, recognizing that my style will change as I do? (Again, I think you know the answer to this).

8. (Cliché coming up), have fun for God’s sake! Yes, I preach that fashion is deeper than clothes because it is, but fashion should bring you enjoyment, it should keep you wondering and wanting to learn more. So yes, please have fun.

That’s all. I sincerely hope you are looking forward to discovering your personal style (if you are so inclined), and if not, that’s cool too. As I’ve said, fashion or a sense of style does not inherently equate to “coolness” (however you define that). Whatever the case, whether you dress the trends or whether you are the most weirdly dressed person in the room, questioning convention is important. Consuming ethically is important. Those two principles are at the heart of us, not as fashion enjoyers, but as people.